He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize