I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
