her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
