I wanna bring you to show and tell
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When are your genitals available?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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