Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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