wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
