It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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