Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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