i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
