Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
