Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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