Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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