Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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