i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
