I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
