Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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