Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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