Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
