they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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