yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize