dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
