so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
