we're chasing vodka with high fives
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
