i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
