We're like a lot better than the average bears
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This is the high leading the old right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
