its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
