oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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