i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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