party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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