I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
