I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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