Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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