Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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