i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
