The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize