as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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