I haven't been this sober since birth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
