so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
