i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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