as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
