So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
