You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
