i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize