Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
