New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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