woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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