don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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