You made me cry and you don't even care
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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