every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
