If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
