I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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