Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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