and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
