hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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