This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
