just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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