i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i love accidental penises.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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