Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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