happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
