Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
