Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize