I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
