That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize