If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
