it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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