White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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