Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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